October 30
Parenthood
I am thankful for parenthood. I am blessed to have two amazing children, John, 32, and Beth 22. Although I have blundered and stumbled my way through parenthood, there are two pieces of advice I am pretty certain about. One: encourage and support your children to be themselves and discover their talents and interests. Two: love them. Rather than trying to make them clones of yourself, let them discover who they are. I always wanted my kids to love golf the way I did and experience the relationship I had with my father and golf. Although they both dabbled in golf, and as sad as I was when it turned out not to be their things, I came to accept that I should support them in whatever endeavors they did. And golf was dad's and my thing, so we had that. Thankfully, John, Beth, and I developed our own things that we share.
With John it was basketball, cross country and track, music, and art. I do love basketball, music, and art, so I am definitely invested in those. I even coached a couple of his basketball teams. But, honestly, running is not my thing. But he so loves it so I came to love it too (at least when he was involved). I attended all his track meets enthusiastically and proudly. With track and field, you can wait several hours before your child has his/her event. Now that really takes patience. But the payoff comes when they run and do their best. That is MY son out there running! And you revel in their achievements. I have attended countless concerts by John's three bands, a solo appearance, and gigs he had with other bands. Although his music may not be what was my pidgeonhole of music, sometimes, I have always been proud of his playing. He amazes me with his guitar solos and the intricate arrangements. Thus, I have discovered new musical avenues through my son. And broadened myself because of him. Who says your children can't teach you?
With Beth, it has been dance, swimming, softball, and arts and crafts. I attended many many softball games and even coached her team once. I really enjoyed those games. Swimming was much like track was for me. You wait and wait and wait, until your precious darling has her one or two races. But when she was between those lines, I was the proud chearing father. I have attended something like eighteen annual dance recitals since she was four. She truly loves dance. And I, smartly decked out in black tuxes, proudly danced with her at two of them. One was to the song "Keeper of the Star" which will forever warmly be identified with Beth. It's great to see her on her discovery of her eventual career, which I am sure will be somehow connected with helping others. Because that's the kind of person she is.
So if your son or daughter wants to be a Suma mud wrestler, get in the mud with them. If they want to study the mating habits of the dung beetle, go through the dung with them! Kind of nasty visuals there but you know what I mean.
It has been so exciting to see my children develop their own talents and skills and become great loving, caring, honest individuals. And not clones of myself. My greatest crowning achievement!
This photo was taken for last year's Christmas card in December, 2012. I looked for one with Beth and John together and had few recent ones, so this one will have to suffice. It's a little on the wacky and humorous side, with them both wrapped in Christmas paper. It's actually quite appropriate now that I think of it. What better Christmas presents could one ask for?
parenthood
parenthood gives you the excuse
to pull out your inner child
no excuse any more
no time to be meek and mild
every son or daughter
can teach us so much
we learn by participating in their growth
they grow and we also grow much.
© rt tulley